Signs You Are Being Used

There could be nothing more frustrating and heartbreaking than discovering those who purportedly professed their 'love' to us, and we reciprocating in return, are the same ones that took our love for granted and played with our emotions like it's some worthless toy.

To avoid finding yourself in such an unpleasant situation, here are four signs that could help you detect earlier if you are being used or manipulated by your partner.

YOUR ACTIVITIES TOGETHER IS MAINLY SEXUAL

Your relationship is really a time bomb waiting to explode if all your partner is always interested in getting you involved in is sex. And once they've extracted all possible sexual pleasure and gratification from you, then you've certainly have been marked 'done' on their register. However, if you don't want to be a record holder as a perpetual bridesmaid or an ever consistent groomsman and never the bride or groom, you've got to avoid being a pleasure spot that gratifies other people's sexual appetite.

MAINLY CONTACT YOU WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING

Being with a partner that more or less contacts you only when they need something either through calling or meeting, is a bold sign that you are being used to serve their needs and they wouldn't mind discarding you when you start objecting or when you have been comprehensively milked dry. You'd agree with me that when they need something, they'd perfectly act all caring, super nice, speak to you in romantic tones like they just came back from throat surgery and intense voice training. And when they're done getting what they want, they are almost instantly gone for a while like they are on exile.

YOU GUYS BASICALLY HANGOUT WHEN THEY ARE BORED

It's always advisable to be on the alert when someone who is supposed to be your partner suddenly realises you exist. You either get sudden calls or request for hangouts and it could only mean two things- they are bored and need someone to be with or they are idle. Then if you similarly try making a request to hang out with them, you're served with excuses from being busy (this is frequent) to tooth ache, to eye ache, and all what nots.

NO FUTURE PLANS WITH YOU

Nothing can be more indicative of being used than having a partner who seems reluctant or uninterested in making future plans with you. His/her temporary arrangement for you is to keep him/her company; you simply don't figure in their future. If you on the other hand have made plans on the kind of luxurious house you'd build together, the large number of beautiful children you'd have or those exotic cars you'd drive, well, you might as well only be driving them in your imagination.

If you've been noticing any of these signs in your relationship or you have other views, kindly drop your comments.

By Kalejaye Abayomi

10 Ways To Get Over Heartbreak

There’s a thin line between heartbreak and lovesickness. Take a look at these signs to find out if you’re lovesick, or on the verge of experiencing lovesickness. And if you do see these traits in yourself, speak with a friend and try to pull yourself out of the pit you’re digging for yourself. [Read: Why does love hurt so much when it goes bad?]

#1 Mood swings. You almost always feel depressed or hopeless, and believe you have no reason to live if you can’t have this person’s affection.

#2 Isolation. You love isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Nothing interests you anymore, and all of a sudden, you start to feel like none of your friends understand you or what you’re going through.

#3 You’re tired all the time. The mental stress you endure constantly tires you easily, and you don’t have energy to do anything you want to do.

#4 Appetite. Even looking at food makes you queasy. You suffer from loss of appetite and weight loss.

#5 Distractions. You’re always distracted, and nothing you do ever feels like it’s to the best of your abilities.

#6 Obsessive compulsive disorder. You find yourself constantly checking your email, facebook page, or your cell phone to see if you’ve received a new message from this person. You may know you aren’t going to get a message, but compulsively checking them becomes a part of your lifestyle. [Read: What is unrequited love and ways to get over it completely]

#7 Hoarding. You treasure this person’s memories and hold on to little things of no significance or value like a movie ticket or a strand of hair. You just can’t bear the thought of losing it or throwing it away because it means so much to you.

#8 You overanalyze. You spend several hours analyzing the things this person says or the particular words they use, and try to see things from different perspectives even if it’s something as trivial as a wave or a hello.

#9 Tearful. You feel like crying for no reason at all. You feel depressed for the smallest of things and you’re oversensitive about everything in your life.

#10 Insomnia. You have difficulty sleeping. Every time you lie down, your mind is filled with thoughts of your crush or your ex. You spend several hours tossing and turning in bed even if you try hard to just fall asleep. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back]

10 ways to stop feeling lovesick and move on with your life

Lovesickness hurts, and there is no escaping it until you make up your mind to move on with your life, or confront the issue. Here are 10 things you can do to stop feeling lovesick and start controlling your life again.

#1 Ask them out. Wear your heart on your sleeve and ask this person out. What’s the worst that could happen? They could decline you. It’s okay to fail at something. What’s worse is not trying! [Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

#2 Hate them. Do you even realize what this person is doing to your life? Your life is spiraling out of control and you’re messing up in every part of your life only because this person is toying with your feelings. [Read: The best way to get over someone you love is by hating them]

#3 What makes them ugly? Look for their flaws and try to remember it all the time, be it their facial expressions, their low IQ, or their lack of etiquette. And compare them mentally to other goodlooking people you see on the street. Once you realize that this person isn’t as awesome as you once thought they were, you’d be able to take them off the pedestal you’ve built for them.

#4 Keep your mind occupied. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Is it shopping? Is it playing games? Indulge in something that excites you and makes you feel good about yourself. [Read: How to get over a crush easily and have fun doing it!]

#5 Get social. You may have been avoiding your friends for a long time, but it’s time you get out and have fun with them. Party, have fun and realize that you can still have a great life even if this person isn’t in it!

#6 Burn those memories. Do you have any photos or memorabilia of this person? Burn it, burn all of it. You’ll feel liberated in no time!

#7 Rationalize, but don’t obsess. It’s okay to think of this person now and then. Shutting them off completely may make the addiction worse. But each time you spend a few minutes thinking of this person, avoid drifting away into fantasyland. Reminisce, rationalize and move on within a few minutes. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works!]

#8 Spend time outside. Nature is wonderful and full of beauty. Spend a while outside in a park or a garden. Stare blankly at the green leaves and the flowers and admire them for their beauty. Isn’t it frustrating that you’re letting this one person darken your heart when there’s so much beauty in the world?

#9 Flirt with someone else. They say that the easiest way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. If you don’t feel like dating someone just yet, at least try to find someone who catches your fancy and flirt with them. It’ll keep you distracted and help you regain the confidence you’ve lost. [Read: 20 things you can do to stop thinking about someone you still love]

#10 Accept that it’ll take time. Wounds don’t heal overnight, and your lovesickness won’t go away too soon either. Accept the fact that it’ll take time, but try to avoid thinking of this person, and avoid all triggers that reminds you of this person. It may take a few weeks or a few months, but thememories will fade away soon as long as you focus on having fun in your life.

Women With Wide Hips Are Easy To Get

A new controversial study revealed what the most feminine party of your body tells about your personality and why hips don’t lie.

To understand whether the diameter of the woman’s hips reflects her nature and relationships with the opposite sex, the British scientist offered 148 women to participate in their research!

The average age of the participantsbwere between 18 and 26 and all of the women had at least one sexual partner.

Also, they had to give answers to rather sensitive questions such as:

The age at which they lost their virginity;
The number of sexual partners they had had;
Emotional significance of sexual relationships they had had;
Then their body parameters were measured: hip circumference at the widest point and the waist circumference at its narrowest point. Hips wider than 36 centimetres were classified as wide, while hips below 31 centimetres as small.

The study has found that women with wide hips are more likely to have one-night stands and more sexual partners in general. And the wider the hips are the more one-night stands a woman had.

According to researches, such a phenomenon can be explained from the biological point of view, as the birth process for such women is generally easier and less traumatic than for the smaller-hipped. Whilst women with smaller hips psychologically programmed to avoid any potential fatal childbirth-related injury they eschew impermanent sexual contacts. 

The Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

This Woman Has Slept With 300 People & Must Have At Least 5 Orgasms Per Day!

A 'hypersexual' woman who claims to have slept with 300 people is so addicted to carnal pleasure that she spends up to five hours a day having sex or pleasuring herself.

Nessa Jay, 24, from Cromer, Norfolk, finds her addiction to sex so hard to deal with that she is even having therapy to try to curb it. Speaking to The Sun's Jennifer Tippett, Nessa said:

'I get sweaty palms, I feel angry and I need to satisfy myself if I don't get at least five orgasms a day through sex.'

Nessa says sex addiction is hard to deal with. She first discovered her thirst for sex after losing her virginity at the age of 16 and within 8 years, has had sex with 300 people. She used to have sex with 'anyone I could'. Nessa says she even used to meet sexual partners in the supermarkets.

'First I chat to them a bit to make sure they're not dangerous or odd but once I know they are OK we go home together,' she said.

Nessa also says she's enjoyed sex with women and has had threesomes. Her sexual appetite has in the past wreaked havoc with her friendships and many of her female friends cut ties with her because they were afraid, worried that their boyfriends may be attracted to her.

But trying to curb her nymphomaniac habit, Nessa now channels much of her sexual energy in to her work as a sex toy reviewer. She has tested 2,000 toys, and says the nature of her job helps her to deal with her cravings. However, while she has been polyamorous in the past, she has one partner at the moment.

Nessa doesn't want her nymphomania to define her and hopes people will view people with hypersexuality as 'normal'. She said:

'I live an average life which most people my age would live. I see friends, I write, I have hobbies; it's pretty normal and pretty boring at times actually. My sex drive may be higher than some but it's healthy because I'm positive about it. I always make sure I have incredibly safe sex and get tested regularly.'I'm perfectly healthy. I can't change who I am or how I act and I wouldn't want to,' she added!

Untold Sex Secrets You Need To Know

The idea of sexual intimacy changes all the time for us. At one point in life, we're craving for it and at another point, we're feigning headaches to avoid it.

At the beginning, you can't keep your hands off your lover no matter where you are but as the relationship grows, sex can start to feel more like a chore if you haven't created ways to make sex feel more exciting.

The untold sex secrets you need to know

Firstly, sex isn't a secret. It's natural and as humans, we've been doing it for a very long time. Sex isn't a secret, but the ways to ensure that sex stays exciting in a monogamous relationship, well, that's definitely a secret worth knowing.

The biggest sex secret you need to know is the recipe for perfect romance. And it needs just two ingredients, unconditional love and lustful passion. If you can truly love each other AND stay sexually attracted to each other even after several years of marriage or dating each other, you're definitely in the right path.

If you want to have a great sex life and keep the sizzle of sexual attraction alive in your relationship, even years after lying in the same bed with each other, you need to understand these 13 sex secrets. These sex secrets will help you understand what it takes to feel sexy, and keep your partner interested in you, and give you the perfect romance that will be envied by other couples.

Sex isn't all physical attraction but… It's been said that romantic sex isn't all about physical appearances, but we all know that good looks can increase the sex appeal by a long way. Work out and try to look better for each other. The fitter you look, the sexier you'd look and feel, and that'll definitely increase your sex appeal and make you a better lover too.

Attention makes you sexy. The more you're admired by other members of the opposite sex, the more your partner will sexually desire you and stay interested in you. Attention from the opposite sex always has this effect on our partners. In a long term relationship, both partners would start to take each other's sex appeal for granted. After all, when something's easily accessible, it's easy to overlook its value. But when your partner is standing in a crowd and getting everyone's attention, that's when you'd realize just how awesome and sexy your partner truly is.

Regular sex is monotonous sex. Sex always gets monotonous and boring if you don't try something new every now and then. Sex isn't just about penetration. It's what you do with each other before, during and after sex that makes lovemaking feel more special.

Talking is sexy. When two lovers talk about sex, it helps each other understand the other partner's desires and expectations better. Talking about sex even when you're not having sex is always great for the relationship. So don't be a prude, speak up and your sex will only get better.

Hide your sexy bits. Don't be naked all the time in front of your partner. The more you walk around naked in the bedroom when you're not getting intimate, the more both of you will end up sexually desensitized. Dress up and don't reveal it all at once.

Missionary rules. The missionary position is the most comfortable and the most intimate of sex positions. Evolution has taught us to have sex while facing each other, and that's something very few species can do. Use it to build the romantic connection, but every now and then, try to vary the positions.

Sexy imagination. Whether you accept it or not, your mind would definitely stray while having sex with your partner. It's obviously not easy to just stare into each other's eyes for a good half an hour with a blank head. Instead of hiding your thoughts while making love, talk about it. Exploring each other's imagination in bed is a sexy rush that'll make sex a lot more exciting and lustful.

Sex is happiness. Having sex regularly makes you a happy person. Just like working out or shopping, sex too stimulates the release of endorphins that make you feel good about yourself. Sex can relieve a headache, eliminate stress, and make you feel calmer and more confident at an interview. So instead of avoiding sex when you're stressed, indulge in it. It'll make you and your partner feel better and bond better too.

Men and women and the way they look at sex. Men and women just don't look at lovemaking the same way. Men are visual creatures that are aroused by what they see physically, while women are more aroused by emotional intimacy and what they hear and feel while making love.

Drunk sex. Intoxicants like alcohol can at times be the biggest aphrodisiacs. Alcohol in small amounts reduces inhibition, which makes you open up more and feel relaxed while getting undressed in the company of another person. Alcohol consumption in males reduces the testosterone levels which reduces their libido proportionally to the alcohol they consume. On the other hand, alcohol consumption increases the testosterone levels in women. For most women, increase in alcohol consumption creates an increase in sexual satisfaction during orgasms.

Dress up and look sexy. Look your best around your partner instead of dressing down in frayed overalls all the time. If you can do that right, there's a good chance that your partner won't cheat on you.

Foreplay is a big part. The longer the foreplay, the more intense the orgasms and the pleasure both of you experience. So the next time both of you are under the sheets, don't go straight for the big act. Take your time to warm up, and the sex will last a lot longer. And good foreplay can even help a man who's having a hard time staying up stay up for longer.

True love doesn't define a perfect romance. True love is not the same as intense sexual attraction. This is the biggest sex secret that can quash a lot of misconceptions about romantic relationships. Experiencing true love will not give you the perfect relationship. True love is love. But a perfect relationship needs more. It needs love and lust to be successful.

When you're in a relationship, don't just hold hands and walk down a street and assume you're in the perfect romance. Push your partner against a wall now and then and make out too. Well, then you'd definitely have the perfect blend of love and lust, the perfect ingredients for romantic love.

16 Signs Your Sexual Partner May Be HIV Positive

Within a month or two of HIV entering the body, 40% to 90% of people experience flulike symptoms known as acute retroviral syndrome (ARS).

But sometimes HIV symptoms don’t appear for years—sometimes even a decade—after infection.

“In the early stages of HIV infection, the most common symptoms are none,” says Michael Horberg, MD, director of HIV/AIDS for Kaiser Permanente, in Oakland, Calif. One in five people in the United States with HIV doesn’t know they have it, which is why it’s so important to get tested, especially if you have unprotected sex with more than one partner or use intravenous drugs.

Here are some signs that you may be HIV-positive.

Fever

One of the first signs of ARS can be a mild fever, up to about 102 degrees F.

The fever, if it occurs at all, is often accompanied by other usually mild symptoms, such as fatigue, swollen lymph glands, and a sore throat.

“At this point the virus is moving into the blood stream and starting to replicate in large numbers,” says Carlos Malvestutto, MD, instructor of infectious diseases and immunology in the department of medicine at NYU School of Medicine in New York City. “As that happens, there is an inflammatory reaction by the immune system.”

Fatigue

The inflammatory response generated by your besieged immune system also can cause you to feel tired and lethargic. Fatigue can be both an early and later sign of HIV.

Ron, 54, a public relations executive in the Midwest, started to worry about his health when he suddenly got winded just walking. “Everything I did, I got out of breath,” he says. “Before that I had been walking three miles a day.”

Ron had tested HIV positive 25 years before feeling so tired; fatigue during acute, or newly contracted, HIV might not be so obvious.

Achy muscles, joint pain, swollen lymph nodes

ARS is often mistaken for the flu, mononucleosis, or another viral infection, even syphilis or hepatitis.

That’s not surprising: Many of the symptoms are the same, including pain in the joints and muscles and swollen lymph glands.

Lymph nodes are part of your body’s immune system and tend to get inflamed when there’s an infection. Many of them are located in your armpit, groin, and neck.

Sore throat and headache

As with other symptoms, sore throat and headache can often be recognized as ARS only in context, Dr. Horberg says.

If you’ve engaged recently in high-risk behavior, an HIV test is a good idea. Get tested for your own sake and for others: HIV is most infectious in the earliest stage.

Keep in mind that the body hasn’t produced antibodies to HIV yet so an antibody test may not pick it up. (It can take a few weeks to a few months for HIV antibodies to show in a blood test). Investigate other test options such as one that detects viral RNA, typically within nine days of infection.

Skin rash

Skin rashes can occur early or late in the course of HIV/AIDS.

For Ron, this was another sign that he might not have run-of-the-mill allergies or a cold.

“They were like boils, with some itchy pink areas on my arms,” Ron says. The rashes can also appear on the trunk of the body. “If [the rashes] aren’t easily explained or easily treated, you should think about having an HIV test,” Dr. Horberg says.

Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea

Anywhere from 30% to 60% of people have short-term nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea in the early stages of HIV, Dr. Malvestutto says.

These symptoms can also appear as a result of antiretroviral therapy and later in the infection, usually as the result of an opportunistic infection.

“Diarrhea that is unremitting and not responding at all to usual therapy might be an indication,” Dr. Horberg says. Or symptoms may be caused by an organism not usually seen in people with healthy immune systems, he adds.

Weight loss

Once called “AIDS wasting,” weight loss is a sign of more advanced illness and could be due in part to severe diarrhea.

“If you’re already losing weight, that means the immune system is usually fairly depleted,” Dr. Malvestutto says. “This is the patient who has lost a lot of weight even if they continue to eat as much as possible. This is late presentation. We still see a lot of these.” It has become less common, however, thanks to antiretroviral therapy.

A person is considered to have wasting syndrome if they lose 10% or more of their body weight and have had diarrhea or weakness and fever for more than 30 days, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Dry cough

A dry cough was the first sign Ron had that something was wrong. He at first dismissed it as bad allergies.

But it went on for a year and a half—and kept getting worse. Benadryl, antibiotics, and inhalers didn’t fix the problem. Neither did allergists.

This symptom—an “insidious cough that could be going on for weeks that doesn’t seem to resolve,” Dr. Malvestutto says—is typical in very ill HIV patients.

Pneumonia

The cough and the weight loss may also presage a serious infection caused by a germ that wouldn’t bother you if your immune system was working properly.

“There are many different opportunistic infections and each one can present differently,” Dr. Malvestutto says. In Ron’s case, it was Pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP), aka “AIDS pneumonia,” which eventually landed him in the hospital.

Other opportunistic infections include toxoplasmosis, a parasitic infection that affects the brain; a type of herpes virus called cytomegalovirus; and yeast infections such as thrush.

Night sweats

About half of people get night sweats during the early stages of HIV infection, Dr. Malvestutto says.

These can be even more common later in infection and aren’t related to exercise or the temperature of the room.

Similar to the hot flashes that menopausal women suffer, they’re also hard to dismiss, given that they soak your bedclothes and sheets.

Read the 6 remaining signs at Health.com

MEN: Six Types Of Sex Women Enjoy

You seem to be noticing a pattern with your last couple of girlfriends: during the first few months, you can barely keep your hands off each other, and slowly but surely, the sexual frequency drops so much below the freezing point that you end up right back where you started: out with the guys, desperate to score.

but you want one

The thing is, you kinda like having a girlfriend. So how can you keep the dreaded bedroom boredom from setting in with your current lady? You must never let the sex become routine. It’s easier than you think; you just have to add different styles of lovemaking to your repertoire, and have a woman who’s willing to go the distance.

So what are these different styles and when are they appropriate? From romantic to animalistic, read on and find out how to keep the flame burning for good.

Type 1 – Seductive Sex

Chances are that your first few sexual encounters with your woman will revolve around seduction. In other words, you’re going to do your damndest to charm her right into your bed.

Look deep into her eyes and “sensualize” the conversation in order to seduce her mind and get the sexual energy between you flowing.

Once you have her eating out of the palm of your hand, take her in your arms and kiss her. Lead her into the bedroom and slowly undress her. Lay her down and make love to her while keeping eye contact. Maintain a constant, steady pace and refrain from using too many sound effects. After all, you’re the strong, silent type tonight.

This type of set-up is also good for when you’ve been together for a while and want to feel like the stud that you are, and want to remind her of that too.

Type 2 – Romantic Sex

This type of sex is good for when you’re both relaxed and not pressed for time, such as during a weekend getaway. It’s time to enjoy the fact that neither of you has anything to do but enjoy each other’s bodies.

Here’s your chance to give her what she wants: a romantic setting and seemingly endless foreplay. Light candles, put on some sexy music (it’s subjective), open up a bottle of Merlot, and caress all of her erogenous zones, including her thighs, butt, back, neck, soles of her feet, and breasts.

The ensuing sex should be slow and rhythmic, and allow both parties to enjoy every sensation to its fullest. Basically, it should feel like it’s going in slow motion.

Don’t forget, she also wants to get wild with you…

Type 3 – Animalistic Sex

Other times, you are just so hot for each other that prolonging foreplay just seems like agony, like when you’re at a club and get incredibly turned on, but have to wait until you get home. Once you unlock that front door, it’s time for animalistic sex.

Grab her and kiss her hard, and rip each other’s clothes off; it doesn’t even matter if some of them stay on. Go ahead and do it doggy style on the living room floor, or prop her up on the kitchen counter if you so desire. Do it fast and hard. Grab her hair by the roots, yell if you feel like it; just be sure to check your inhibitions at the door.

Type 4 – Passionate Sex
Perhaps you were away on business and haven’t seen her for a week, or maybe you had a huge fight and need to make up; the point is you’re burning with desire and you want to devour each other.

The resulting sex should be intense and deeply felt. Hold on to her body and make love to her like she’s all the woman you could ever want or need.

Type 5 – Quickie Sex
This one’s great if you’re pressed for time, stressed out, or in an unusual location that you really shouldn’t be having sex in, such as in your office, or on a somewhat secluded beach.

This one’s quick and to the point; you want an orgasm and you want it now.

Type 6 – Kinky Sex
If you and your woman have been together for a while and trust each other, and are looking to spice things up, it may just be time to get kinky.

Get out the scarves and tie her hands behind her head or to the bedpost, and make her your slave. Or blindfold her and keep her guessing what you’ll do next. Get your hands on some edible body paints and make her body your canvas. Tease her with a feather. Or shock her system with ice cubes or candle wax. Spank her.

You can also get her to wear some sexy lingerie and do a little strip tease for you. She can be your naughty school girl, cowgirl, French maid; whatever turns you on.

keep it coming

As long as you and your woman have compatible sex drives and a sense of adventure when it comes to your sexual escapades, you should be able to lead a mutually fulfilling sex life and prevent the flame from dying. Just remember to switch it up and spice it up.

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